The Struggles and Fears of an Art Student

One way to kill a passion for something is to take the creative outlet it brings to a person. Even before I was old enough to carry a purse I would tote around family members small digital cameras. I use to take pictures of all my dolls and stuffed animals. I started taking still life photos before I could tell you which hand was my right. I took photo class this year to have something to look forward to except lunch and the final bell, but now I wish I hadn't taken it at all. Yes, I love being able to play with negatives and make prints for a class but the task of taking photos for someone else to judge is surprisingly stressful and hard. The assignments aren't hard or uninteresting but the nagging question of "Will my teacher find this as beautiful as I do?" takes some of the escape away from it.

The shots above were for two different assignments, architecture and portraits. I'm always excited at the end of the week to get a new assignment but as the due date one it closes I begin to resent the fact that my teacher and I have to very different taste in art. If I find a tree behind my subject aesthetically pleasing then shouldn't I be able to chose to keep it or not rather than forced to crop it out because my teacher isn't fond of it? The class that was my favorite is now the one I hate going to the most, and the teacher I felt closest to is now the one I can't stand to see. In the long run I am glad I took the class. I benefited from it even if my GPA did not, and I hate to drop it next semester but if I don't my passion for art just maybe dropped instead. I'd much rather take a boring class than lose the drive to continue to create.