The Struggles and Fears of an Art Student

One way to kill a passion for something is to take the creative outlet it brings to a person. Even before I was old enough to carry a purse I would tote around family members small digital cameras. I use to take pictures of all my dolls and stuffed animals. I started taking still life photos before I could tell you which hand was my right. I took photo class this year to have something to look forward to except lunch and the final bell, but now I wish I hadn't taken it at all. Yes, I love being able to play with negatives and make prints for a class but the task of taking photos for someone else to judge is surprisingly stressful and hard. The assignments aren't hard or uninteresting but the nagging question of "Will my teacher find this as beautiful as I do?" takes some of the escape away from it.

The shots above were for two different assignments, architecture and portraits. I'm always excited at the end of the week to get a new assignment but as the due date one it closes I begin to resent the fact that my teacher and I have to very different taste in art. If I find a tree behind my subject aesthetically pleasing then shouldn't I be able to chose to keep it or not rather than forced to crop it out because my teacher isn't fond of it? The class that was my favorite is now the one I hate going to the most, and the teacher I felt closest to is now the one I can't stand to see. In the long run I am glad I took the class. I benefited from it even if my GPA did not, and I hate to drop it next semester but if I don't my passion for art just maybe dropped instead. I'd much rather take a boring class than lose the drive to continue to create.

It's been a while

It's been about 8 months sense I've posted, mainly because I forgot I had started this project until today. Over the summer my art and photography was put on the back burner for almost 4 months, something that is unacceptable. Now that school has started again and the overwhelming stress is back I have taken a retreat into my art once more. I'm taking a photography class this year and I've learned a lot and think my photo skills have greatly increased. For the first semester we're using film cameras which is my niche in photography. When I was a freshman in highschool I discovered my grandfathers 80's film camera and have been using it ever sense then. The class is for beginners and although I have some years of experience with the camera and knowing how to use the controls the class has helped teach me how to master the fundamentals of film. We have also learned to process our own film and make and mat our own prints. I love the class and learning more and more about my passion but I hate the fact that someone has to "grade" my art. Art is a perspective thing and is different for every individual, and in my opinion cannot be given a letter grade. Something I like maynot be to my teachers liking even though she is the one who grades it. However, I crop out what I am told and capture what appeases her. I feel as though my creativity and artistic freedom has been stripped of me. I doubt anyone reads this but if there is someone out there tuning in you can see my photos from this year and years past at my Blue Canvas profile that I'll link below. Hopefully you'll see an improvement from all my folders to the black&white 35mm folder. http://www.bluecanvas.com/daniellenash